how to disappear completely

the space between

2012-02-14T22:20:00.003+01:00

eating: dried fruits, Smarties, pasta, mozzarella
drinking: water, water, water
playing: Dr Kawashima/NDS
reading: Murakami (South of the Border, West of the Sun) once again
listening: Air, The Whitest Boy Alive, Lana Del Rey, Roxy Music
thinking: ∞, 24/7
missing: spring, camera

this

2012-02-12T10:01:00.000+01:00

Bob: "Can you keep a secret? I'm trying to organize a prison break. I'm looking for, like, an accomplice. We have to first get out of this bar, then the hotel, then the city, and then the country. Are you in or you out?"

[lost in translation]

twenty four seven

2012-01-31T13:20:00.000+01:00

today

2012-01-27T22:57:00.001+01:00

the words don't mean enough for us to say

Y U NO

2012-01-24T18:18:00.000+01:00

Hello there. My camera doesn't work anymore. It happened yesterday, on our first day in Birmingham.

You know, walking down the roads in this beautiful city, I want to - I need to take photos from all the buildings and people and streets and holy gosh this is so BAD and mean. And why does it happen in Birmingham, now, and not next week when I'm back in Germany?

It makes me so sad.

Anyway. Greetings from the coolest town. I love being here.

Größere Kartenansicht

it's a hollow play

2012-01-18T22:15:00.000+01:00

In a few days, I will be able to make some more photos which will make it much more fun to have this blog for at least a week. I wish I had more time for this, because it's sort of addicting. Why such a long title for such a short entry? And why not trying to have more conversation with nice people?

2012-01-17T21:30:00.000+01:00

to do:

get a new table for the kitchen.

get new flowers.

eat healthier things.

stop blushing, it's ridiculous.

do all the laundry until Sunday.

change this blog's font.

make a playlist.

And I'm not talking about the photo

2012-01-11T23:05:00.000+01:00

This* is all so weird.

(*what is it????)

like a ghost in my head

2012-01-08T00:28:00.000+01:00

Hello. This week was so bad. I'm not sure how to get more time for taking photos.

At least I found my iPod (it was sort of ... in the sofa), and that's simply awesome.

Ghost In My Head by NIVA on Grooveshark

There is a huge to do list for the next week. I'll give you an abstract.

- finally take a picture of myself, send it to my health insurance company so they can renew my member card which is invalid since December

- this is more like a resolution; don't oversleep (morning shift)

- call the tax office

- get a second job (challenge accepted)

- have a nice and free afternoon next week

- iron all the clothes!!

- sell more contract extensions (aww man I hate that job but somehow I want to improve my skills anyway)

- dye my hair

...ehm okay. That was enough so far. The rest is in my mind.

Whole Love by Wilco on Grooveshark

New Year's walkabout

2012-01-01T22:59:00.000+01:00

Lame:

2011-12-31T11:50:00.001+01:00

Last year in December, everything was different.

Being pregnant on New Year's Eve isn't the funniest thing to do. Around midnight I sat alone on a fake leather couch, talking to my Mom on the phone, drinking Fanta and wondering, how the upcoming year would change my life. (Well, it did very much.

Becoming a mother is not comparable to any other things I've seen before.

I don't have the time or leisure for any kind of a résumé though.) So here are just some random pictures I took in the last weeks.

In November, I ordered this necklace from H&M's Versace collection.
On the pictures from their online store, the necklace looked way smaller
and thinner than it actually was. So, I put it on several times,
spending much time in front of the mirror,
to finally decide to send it back. And yes, I regret.

This is a very cheap dress with bat sleeves. Maybe I'll wear it tonight, I'll let you know.

When I get really angry, I need to destroy things.

Dear 2011. We've had great times together, and sometimes you just sucked very much.

I can't remember a year I've slept worse than in this one.

But, before I forget, I finally fell in love with Barney Stinson.

'Kids, ...'

Wow, that was creepy.

point vert

2011-12-30T17:29:00.000+01:00

nichts ist so schön auf der welt wie betrunken traurige musik zu hören by Tomte on Grooveshark

The same song as last year. Not sure yet what we're gonna do tomorrow night. Maybe we'll stay home, drink some wine and eat Ben&Jerry's, maybe we'll go out for midnight and have a drink in the city. The first night without our baby for months.

foreign words

2011-12-26T20:19:00.001+01:00

This year, Christmas wasn't magic or something to remember until you're old. It didn't even feel like Christmas. And, well, this winter doesn't feel like a real winter.

I'll show you some more of my clothes in the next days and weeks, I promise.

and

2011-12-23T23:17:00.000+01:00

Hej guys. I know, my fingers look creepy on that picture. And I look very arrogant on it, yes.

I still like it. I'm a nice guy.

Today work was just blah blah

2011-12-21T23:28:00.000+01:00

the warm and the cold

2011-12-19T22:14:00.000+01:00

Mary, Mary So Contrary (2004 Digital Remaster) by Can on Grooveshark

Le frère.

2011-12-08T00:00:00.001+01:00

January*

2011-12-06T22:30:00.000+01:00

Looking forward to: tonight (Le Havre),

tomorrow (contact lenses, finally),

Christmas, 2012, *, Birmingham

Ignoring: New Year's Eve

Selling: almost everything.

(Looks like a poem.)

The light at the end of the tunnel is a train.

2011-12-04T13:18:00.001+01:00

Ha Ha Ha by Whitey on Grooveshark

any further questions?

2011-12-01T22:14:00.000+01:00

metal heart, you're not worth a thing

2011-11-26T22:44:00.001+01:00

talk

2011-11-26T01:17:00.000+01:00

I can't save you

2011-11-25T16:31:00.001+01:00

... from yourself. Bang bang, you're dead. Is it wicked not to care?

might take a little time

2011-11-25T08:30:00.000+01:00

Everybody's Stalking by Badly Drawn Boy on Grooveshark

pine cone

2011-11-21T16:45:00.001+01:00

Kelly Watch The Stars (Demo) by Air on Grooveshark

Today I bought this pine cone in a supermarket (that's wrong, isn't it? I should've gone to a forest by myself to get one for free, right? And fresh air and nature and yeah well).

I'm scared. Not scared of the pine cone of course, but of everything or almost everything else.

I need to be myself, and nobody else should be me, or like me. Nobody can be like me; in a weird way I'm unique. Accept this.

Day X - A picture that makes you think of stopping the challenge and take some nicer photos instead

2011-11-19T16:06:00.001+01:00

willow catkin

Bigger Stronger by Coldplay on Grooveshark

when the room is quiet

2011-11-17T23:34:00.000+01:00

Ghosts by Japan on Grooveshark

This song is so awesome. Listen to it carefully, and don't stop until its end.

And yes, more photos coming soon. And plans. You'll see.

pause

2011-11-16T09:21:00.001+01:00

Hello guys. I didn't post a photo yesterday, I should be ashamed. The challenge isn't over, though, I'll continue (tomorrow maybe) - there are just things to be done and thoughts to be thought.

Really, there is new hope. A new perspective for my life, and for my mind.

I long for B'ham.

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

2011-11-14T22:26:00.000+01:00

Thank you very much, guys!

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

2011-11-13T17:42:00.000+01:00

Hello there. Too many baby photos for your taste? ;)

See the whole list of missions here.

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

2011-11-12T21:11:00.000+01:00

Day 06 - A picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day.

2011-11-11T08:29:00.000+01:00

Honestly, I wouldn't wanna trade places/lifes/circumstances with anybody. Now that I have to choose a person, here comes a picture of my son, doing something I want to do as well.

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.

2011-11-10T00:00:00.000+01:00

One of my favourite memories.
Since that day (it was in May last year) a few things changed. The umbrella got broken, the baby was born, et cetera blah blah. But the most important thing stayed the way it was. And that's it.

Day 04 - A picture of your night.

2011-11-09T08:43:00.001+01:00

At night, many people (especially the ones in my age) go out for drinking, dancing and stuff. So you probably expect a picture that shows me with some friends in a bar or at a party. Actually, my nights go a little more like this: when the baby finally sleeps, I'm trying to spend some time with my boyfriend. After that, or instead of that (the PlayStation is a mighty opponent), I do things like writing something for my blog, reading some fashion blogs, washing the dishes, having a conversation via skype or facebook and then going to bed. Every other hour, the baby wakes up and asks for attention/food/someone to hold him and dance around with him so he can fall asleep again.
I don't want to show you pictures about that. It's just not interesting. Or pretty.
So I decided to make some pictures of what I did yesterday ... in the evening.

Yes, right. I bought some asters at the supermarket. They're yellow, and they're beautiful.

What do you mean, it's not exciting? It's a revolution, for me. I never buy flowers! Especially not for myself. But I did, and I liked it, and I will do it more often from now on.

Tomorrow's mission is 'a picture of your favorite memory'.
See the whole list here.

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

2011-11-08T09:00:00.000+01:00

Yep, that's no really interesting point in this list. Anyway, I wasn't sure wether to chose Scrubs or Sex And The City. So, here are two photos showing pictures with the cast of both the shows.

I really don't have the time to tell you the reasons for my choice, so just think about it yourself. Or, if you didn't watch these shows before, go and watch them. Except Scrubs' season 9, that's rather a bad joke than a part of Scrubs.

See you tomorrow. What's up tomorrow? Day 04 - A picture of your night. See the whole list here.

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.

2011-11-07T08:26:00.000+01:00

Hello! I know, it's been a long day 1. Anyway, today is definitely day 2! Sadly, I wasn't able to take the photo myself. Maybe I'll show you a newer picture of my mother and me someday.
Maybe you also wonder why I chose my mother for the person I have been 'closest with the longest'. Maybe I don't want to tell you, though.

This is me with my mother in 1999. The picture was taken by my father.

See you tomorrow!
You can find the whole list of photo missions here.

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts.

2011-11-05T23:49:00.000+01:00

Ten facts. Uhm, yeah. I'll try to find some things as boring as possible.

０１｜Three months ago, I touched and used a flat iron for the first time in my life. I'm twenty years old, by the way. Meanwhile, I'm using it every other day.

０２｜The first time I heard a song by Radiohead, I was already 18. A friend played 'Creep' on the guitar at my birthday party. By now, Radiohead is my favourite band.

０３｜I love band shirts. I have: Radiohead (4 plus 1 for my son), Clueso (2), The Whitest Boy Alive, Arctic Monkeys and Maximo Park. Not enough yet.

０４｜I usually don't like tea, but there is one place in town where I love drinking green tea.

０５｜I'm very boring, it seems. Is that a fact?

０６｜While I'm doing this, my son is taking a huge nap and my boyfriend is playing Call of Duty.

０７｜When I go online in the morning, the first things I check are mails, facebook, friend blogs, fashion blogs and Rookie.

０８｜I'm almost done with this creepy list. The sky is blue.

０９｜I'm far too lazy for: manicure, make up every day, pedicure, curls in my hair, dying my hair before you can see the normal colour, ...

１０｜The following photo shows ... me.

This is me today. Not on the photo: my glasses

Well that was a bad list of facts. I'm really lucky to say, this challenge is more about making photos more often. And it works, even on the first day.

Good night and see you tomorrow (Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest)! Find the whole list of challenges here.

Sometimes you find inspiration in phone calls with someone who wants to give you a freezer for free.

2011-11-05T13:42:00.002+01:00

to do list

2011-11-02T10:00:00.000+01:00

traffic jam

2011-11-01T16:50:00.000+01:00

This is my favourite pullover. Just in case you were looking for a fashion blog, let me tell you it's from Zara and it's out of stock. Ha ha.

if we don't hide here

2011-11-01T07:24:00.002+01:00

Good morning everyone.

This blog is much fun at the moment. Don't know why, but I guess it's the camera.

See you soon, the day is young.

All cats are grey.

2011-10-31T16:56:00.000+01:00

hours go by

2011-10-29T23:51:00.001+02:00

日本デー２

2011-10-27T13:24:00.000+02:00

The second part of the photos I took in Düsseldorf.

Maybe there will be a third part, maybe not, ...you'll see.

(The first one is the costume is liked most, I think, just because it instantly reminded me of a character from 'Doll', which is a manga I read a few years ago. I'm not even sure wether she meant to be that character, but her outfit, her hair and her face fit so perfectly.)

For a slideshow, just click on any photo.

2011-10-26T11:37:00.002+02:00

Thanks for the nice postcard, S.!

gatekeeper

2011-10-26T10:37:00.001+02:00

Hello there. Now that my son is sleeping in his baby sling on my back, I have the time for writing some lines to you. ~~Sadly, there is no photo that's worth being shared right now, but~~ I'm pretty sure (pretty pretty sure), I'll upload something nice very soon.
The big anger has passed, and what's left is a rather big nervousness for my part.

Since this state decided to be very mean and impatient, I have to cancel my plans for a relaxed year between the baby and the sushi bar and have to get another job, a part time job. I'm doing this to be the official bread-earner for my family, so my boyfriend can have a three months job training at a good advertising agency with good prospects. While doing this, he is still in parental leave.

Honestly, I'm not looking forward to the next months.
But, just to cheer myself a little up, there have been worse winters (with worse jobs), and the following spring has been awesome, every time.

See (some of) you soon!

edit:

Doesn't look that comfortable, right? Somehow he likes to sleep in that sling thing, though.

keep forgetting

2011-10-20T18:32:00.000+02:00

Hello there. I must confess, I'm scared of the coming winter.

How do you like my new pullover? It's a reindeer winter pullover for people who are not that much into reindeers.

round and round

2011-10-18T13:46:00.000+02:00

Having bad days again, the same shit as last month, somehow. I'm not sure how to fix my problems. I'm kind of losing control about my thoughts, and they come and go, whenever they want. I hate them.

Be prepared to see some more photos today/this week/whenever.

日本デー１

2011-10-16T18:35:00.000+02:00

2011-10-13T23:01:00.000+02:00

impossible

2011-10-12T09:04:00.000+02:00

provisional

2011-10-09T11:16:00.000+02:00

Hello there.

I'm taking many photos these days. If you ignore the ones containing my baby/boyfriend/cat/-self, there are still many pictures left. And some might be even worth a look (oh arrogant me!). So be prepared, watch my blog, be excited (oh even more arrogant me!), take a seat.

(Also, as you might have noticed yet, there is a music bar thing down there on your screen. See it? Yeah? So, if you like, go and listen to the things I put in there.)

chiasmus. parallelism.

2011-10-02T13:37:00.000+02:00

Hej there. For the next months, I'm mainly a mother. And I love it.

Still, there is something missing. My brain needs more input.

Looking forward to: 2012

there's enough in my life to make me so

2011-09-30T22:27:00.000+02:00

I didn't watch the video, but the song is, I can't really decide, either the greatest or the most boring or the most terrible song on earth. I'm not sure yet. Most of the time I like it, and I like how the voices sound together, and I like the things they are telling us.

It's late, my legs are tired, and so is my mind.

let it die

2011-09-28T13:26:00.000+02:00

People’s memories are maybe the fuel they burn to stay alive. Whether those memories have any actual importance or not, it doesn’t matter as far the maintenance of life is concerned. They are all just fuel. Advertising filler in the news paper, philosophy books, dirty pictures in a magazine, a bundle of ten-thousand-yen bills; when you feed them to fire, they are just paper. The fire isn’t thinking ‘oh this is Kant’ or ‘oh this is Yomuri evening edition’ or ‘nice tits’, while it burns. To the fire, they are nothing but scraps of paper. It is the exact same thing. Important memories , not-so-important memories, totally useless memories : there is no distinction — they are all just fuel.

Murakami (After Dark)

we don't see eye to eye -

[this is a blog post about things that don't concern my life anymore]

not here

2011-09-20T13:24:00.000+02:00

(I need to see you, and I need you to ask me for the trouble in my head)

you take my place in the showdown

2011-09-17T21:49:00.000+02:00

heart and soul

, one will burn

confession

2011-09-03T22:28:00.000+02:00

eating: crisps, cheese, chocolate
drinking: water, Fanta
thinking about: school, sleep, family
...blahblahblah.

being: nervous.

2011-08-19T00:41:00.000+02:00

theres/a/limit/to/your/love

like/a/waterfall/in/slow/motion

like/a/map/with/no/ocean

feist, the water

2011-08-19T00:33:00.000+02:00

Is it wicked not to care?

2011-08-08T09:43:00.000+02:00

Hello Monday, there you are again.
Listening to: Belle and Sebastian
Eating: not yet
Saying: something entertaining to my child
Thinking about: inspiration, family, school, clothes, friends, winter

This isn't happening.

2011-07-07T14:55:00.000+02:00

via